It's the 31st of September

As we come to the final chapters of a beloved American cultural creation, and with the airing of Breaking Bad's finale, I think it would be nice to take stock of this work of art that has been faithfully churned out for our entertainment.

Obviously you know what I'm referring to, but in case you need a refresher: As you know, Pearls of Mystery has been having "31 for 30" all month long as part of our long-standing rivalry with sports conglomerate ESPN, which submitted a pathetic "30 for 30" in its own shot across the bow/personal challenge to me. Submitting 30 shorts, a few of them excellent, ESPN surely knew what Nas has always preached: One life, one love, so there can only be one king.

Ironic, in retrospect, because, when it quoted Nas relentlessly in its internal memos, ESPN surely thought itself such a king. Pearls of Mystery was having none of that shit, and responded with 31, count 'em, 31 red-hot pieces, burnt crispy from the fevered imaginatioven that half-baked them twice over. Watch the throven. We even had a literal mystery on Pearls of Mystery can you even breathe

I am the victor, ESPN. 31 pieces, 30 days. I'm savoring this, ESPN. Let me have this. Please. I think you could probably produce 32 pieces in another upcoming month-with-30-days. Look, I don't think that, I know it. And I know you are already planning 32 for 30 in November, before I've even finished this capper. I mean, let's be real, you could probably write 32 pieces about Richard Jefferson in November, and that's like, my forte. So... look, just... let's just say we were in competition in a closed timeline starting with the release of 30 for 30, and ending on September 30 of this year, at midnight, unless you read this in a fit of rage and decided to publish 32 pieces under that heading.

But please don't do that, or the other thing I mentioned. After all, we're making each other better. That's what it means that we're bitter rivals, to the end. I know all the stuff you say about me behind closed doors. Believe me; I say the same things. But in the end, aren't we both faceless conglomerates looking to foster the best insights on competition and culture? Aren't we both? Isn't that... the one thing we've got?

That said, no, before you even ask, you can't buy me out. And I obviously can't buy you out. We are perfect rivals until the sun burns hot and then cold. Also, I blog for one of your affiliates, so obviously we have some mutual interests, so, is that that? Is our competition finally resolved? Have I proved myself a worthy man?

Are you there, God?