It's the Spurs-Nets Finals. Manu catches and shoots a three without moving his head or legs. Long story short, Richard Jefferson, Jason Kidd, and Kenyon Martin are on the break against only one player - Tim Duncan. Kidd has the ball.
Heh. I wish David Robinson were in the game. It's always fun smothering an offensive possession with the Admiral. I wonder if that's what the Navy is like, all just sailing to other countries and stopping them from becoming too offensively powerful. I wish I knew more about politics.
Well, I guess I'm back on defense. I wish someone else were here to help. I guess I'll have to handle it myself. Hmm, I'm in pretty much the right position, being on the corner of the paint. I wish I knew what this spot was called after all these years. Maybe it's the elbow. It has some kind of a name. I'll find out later. After all, my concentration is the only thing that stands between Richard Jefferson and a basket.
Jason Kidd is dribbling up the court. Jason is my rival in this series, according to all the postgame interviewers. I guess that's somewhat true, and he is a good basketball player. I don't really think in terms of rivals though. My only rival is Professor Oak's grandson. Gary Oak is more like Kevin Garnett, but this year maybe I'll decide to name him "Jason" when the new games come out. I hope that's soon. I hope the professor still lets me name his rival and choose Grass once again. There's nothing better than having your opponent choose Fire and then beating them with ordinary old Grass.
Anyway, Jason is flanked on both sides by Richard Jefferson and Kenyon Martin, both hurrying, sort of faltering over their feet in their haste to try to get a basket. I move from side to side like a human pendulum at the free throw line because it means RJ and K-Mart have to go around me to get to the paint. It also prevents Jason Kidd from breaking my ankles, and I get to pretend I'm a point guard. Overall I have made the right choice.
Now Jason won't be able to drive on me straight on. In fact, I personally think he should shoot the ball or pass the ball to one of his flanks of lesser ability. That's what I think Jason should do. The break continues, though, regardless of what I think.
I heard that with bears if you make yourself look bigger they get scared. Maybe this pendulum move makes it seem like I can stop anything they'd want around the free throw line. It makes me seem like I am as wide as the free throw line, that there is no getting around me. Just like that bear thing I was just talking about. Oh, well, all I know is it worked for the Chicago "Bears" linebackers. I am such a card with these "Bears" puns, aren't I. Anyway, I had better pay attention to the game, or it will be some "Bad News, Bears"! Wait, I'm always paying attention, even when it seems like I'm not.
But what's going on with this fast break? It's not very fast to me, anyway. I think I'm going to dare Jason Kidd outright to shoot the ball. You see, somehow I'm flare-screening both Richard Jefferson and Kenyon Martin simultaneously at the free throw line, keeping them from cutting towards the basket. I guess I kind of caught them off guard with that pendulum move. I am always juking players with my crossover pendulum. In any case, that's also blocking Jason Kidd from getting into the lane through the top. Unless he wants the defense to reset, he'll have to shoot the ball. Their coach is going to be furious when he sees this coup I've pulled off, this...Maginot Free Throw Line. Actually that name is accurate: Jason is using his speed to dribble around the free throw line past all three of us. Darn; he has an open lane to the basket! I should have realized the best point guard in the game would think to go around me. Oh, well, the play isn't over. I run to cut off Jason. I tell him aloud that a bear is chasing him. He tells me to fuck off. But I'm fast enough to cut off his favorite angle, and he is forced to pass the ball to RJ. I guess this whole fast break hasn't taken very long, because at a glance, I note my team is still at halfcourt sprinting (in vain) to help me out, no matter how ridiculous this possession has been so far. What a loyal team.
Now Richard Jefferson has the ball at the corner of the free throw line, his break mates at the baseline in the paint. I'm acutely covering both of Richard's passing angles, but he's becoming more and more obtuse as Jason and K-Mart are rotating about halfway back towards their corners to get open midrange shots. I decide to insult Richard Jefferson profoundly but in order to avoid arousing his anger I don't change my facial expression at all, or even say a word. No, I insult him by hanging back a bit to block the driving lanes of Jason and Kenyon near the basket, giving Richard's capable hands all the passing, shooting, and dribbling lanes he should ever need. I gamble that he will screw this up, somehow. I'm starting to feel good about this play, even though Richard Jefferson has everything a wing should need to kill a single defender.
Even if RJ does something before the defense resets, I still have two seconds to myself while he just thinks to himself. In an ideal world he would just commit to something, anything. He would punish me for giving him this space with an open shot. He would punish me for not directly cutting off his defenders with a quick pass to an open man. He would just fake a couple passes and force a 3-second violation or make me come back to the free throw line to help him. Something, anything. He would do any of these things. But this series has told me he won't. So I have some time to myself, then. What can I think about with these precious moments of spare time?
If you could predict the future perfectly, could you (even theoretically) design an initial neural network... Oh, I guess Richard is going to try to drive the ball himself. What a surprise. That's pretty funny to me. Heh. Heh. Heh.
As much as I had insulted Richard by dropping back to the basket, I think I'm even more insulted that he thinks he can drive the ball on me. Maybe he has a plan to kick it out to Jason, who seems to be rotating to catch the pass. Then again, maybe not, because Jason has a look of basketball horror on his face. Yeah, definitely not, I can just tell. Jason has given up on the play and he's not going to get the ball. Now I just have to block RJ. I wonder if I can. Richard is a fine young man with great bursts of speed and power. Surely this time he will do right. Surely this time down the court, RJ won't try to go straight up and forward to try to draw the body contact even while holding the ball above his head so that I have a chance to play the ball without getting close to fouling him. I wonder if that will happen. Yes, I think so. It's looking like it. Heh. I guess I'll just have to block this and throw an outlet pass to my team for a quick uncontested two at the other end. Yes. I am doing it. I bet I look like a soccer player when I throw the ball. I guess I am kind of a goalie.
Oh, gee, that was my seventh block of the game! I think I'm having a good game! The crowd that is looking for dunks and brilliant offense must have found that...unBearable! Oh, well. I guess it's time for another defense of the basket. I should probably ask Pop to bring David in for this next rotation. It's a lot of fun to block Richard Jefferson time after time and I know the Admiral will enjoy it. I hope we can pull this game out. I guess we'll see. I think we will.
Heh. I wish David Robinson were in the game. It's always fun smothering an offensive possession with the Admiral. I wonder if that's what the Navy is like, all just sailing to other countries and stopping them from becoming too offensively powerful. I wish I knew more about politics.
Well, I guess I'm back on defense. I wish someone else were here to help. I guess I'll have to handle it myself. Hmm, I'm in pretty much the right position, being on the corner of the paint. I wish I knew what this spot was called after all these years. Maybe it's the elbow. It has some kind of a name. I'll find out later. After all, my concentration is the only thing that stands between Richard Jefferson and a basket.
Jason Kidd is dribbling up the court. Jason is my rival in this series, according to all the postgame interviewers. I guess that's somewhat true, and he is a good basketball player. I don't really think in terms of rivals though. My only rival is Professor Oak's grandson. Gary Oak is more like Kevin Garnett, but this year maybe I'll decide to name him "Jason" when the new games come out. I hope that's soon. I hope the professor still lets me name his rival and choose Grass once again. There's nothing better than having your opponent choose Fire and then beating them with ordinary old Grass.
Anyway, Jason is flanked on both sides by Richard Jefferson and Kenyon Martin, both hurrying, sort of faltering over their feet in their haste to try to get a basket. I move from side to side like a human pendulum at the free throw line because it means RJ and K-Mart have to go around me to get to the paint. It also prevents Jason Kidd from breaking my ankles, and I get to pretend I'm a point guard. Overall I have made the right choice.
Now Jason won't be able to drive on me straight on. In fact, I personally think he should shoot the ball or pass the ball to one of his flanks of lesser ability. That's what I think Jason should do. The break continues, though, regardless of what I think.
I heard that with bears if you make yourself look bigger they get scared. Maybe this pendulum move makes it seem like I can stop anything they'd want around the free throw line. It makes me seem like I am as wide as the free throw line, that there is no getting around me. Just like that bear thing I was just talking about. Oh, well, all I know is it worked for the Chicago "Bears" linebackers. I am such a card with these "Bears" puns, aren't I. Anyway, I had better pay attention to the game, or it will be some "Bad News, Bears"! Wait, I'm always paying attention, even when it seems like I'm not.
But what's going on with this fast break? It's not very fast to me, anyway. I think I'm going to dare Jason Kidd outright to shoot the ball. You see, somehow I'm flare-screening both Richard Jefferson and Kenyon Martin simultaneously at the free throw line, keeping them from cutting towards the basket. I guess I kind of caught them off guard with that pendulum move. I am always juking players with my crossover pendulum. In any case, that's also blocking Jason Kidd from getting into the lane through the top. Unless he wants the defense to reset, he'll have to shoot the ball. Their coach is going to be furious when he sees this coup I've pulled off, this...Maginot Free Throw Line. Actually that name is accurate: Jason is using his speed to dribble around the free throw line past all three of us. Darn; he has an open lane to the basket! I should have realized the best point guard in the game would think to go around me. Oh, well, the play isn't over. I run to cut off Jason. I tell him aloud that a bear is chasing him. He tells me to fuck off. But I'm fast enough to cut off his favorite angle, and he is forced to pass the ball to RJ. I guess this whole fast break hasn't taken very long, because at a glance, I note my team is still at halfcourt sprinting (in vain) to help me out, no matter how ridiculous this possession has been so far. What a loyal team.
Now Richard Jefferson has the ball at the corner of the free throw line, his break mates at the baseline in the paint. I'm acutely covering both of Richard's passing angles, but he's becoming more and more obtuse as Jason and K-Mart are rotating about halfway back towards their corners to get open midrange shots. I decide to insult Richard Jefferson profoundly but in order to avoid arousing his anger I don't change my facial expression at all, or even say a word. No, I insult him by hanging back a bit to block the driving lanes of Jason and Kenyon near the basket, giving Richard's capable hands all the passing, shooting, and dribbling lanes he should ever need. I gamble that he will screw this up, somehow. I'm starting to feel good about this play, even though Richard Jefferson has everything a wing should need to kill a single defender.
Even if RJ does something before the defense resets, I still have two seconds to myself while he just thinks to himself. In an ideal world he would just commit to something, anything. He would punish me for giving him this space with an open shot. He would punish me for not directly cutting off his defenders with a quick pass to an open man. He would just fake a couple passes and force a 3-second violation or make me come back to the free throw line to help him. Something, anything. He would do any of these things. But this series has told me he won't. So I have some time to myself, then. What can I think about with these precious moments of spare time?
If you could predict the future perfectly, could you (even theoretically) design an initial neural network... Oh, I guess Richard is going to try to drive the ball himself. What a surprise. That's pretty funny to me. Heh. Heh. Heh.
As much as I had insulted Richard by dropping back to the basket, I think I'm even more insulted that he thinks he can drive the ball on me. Maybe he has a plan to kick it out to Jason, who seems to be rotating to catch the pass. Then again, maybe not, because Jason has a look of basketball horror on his face. Yeah, definitely not, I can just tell. Jason has given up on the play and he's not going to get the ball. Now I just have to block RJ. I wonder if I can. Richard is a fine young man with great bursts of speed and power. Surely this time he will do right. Surely this time down the court, RJ won't try to go straight up and forward to try to draw the body contact even while holding the ball above his head so that I have a chance to play the ball without getting close to fouling him. I wonder if that will happen. Yes, I think so. It's looking like it. Heh. I guess I'll just have to block this and throw an outlet pass to my team for a quick uncontested two at the other end. Yes. I am doing it. I bet I look like a soccer player when I throw the ball. I guess I am kind of a goalie.
Oh, gee, that was my seventh block of the game! I think I'm having a good game! The crowd that is looking for dunks and brilliant offense must have found that...unBearable! Oh, well. I guess it's time for another defense of the basket. I should probably ask Pop to bring David in for this next rotation. It's a lot of fun to block Richard Jefferson time after time and I know the Admiral will enjoy it. I hope we can pull this game out. I guess we'll see. I think we will.
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