Note: I have about 100 unpublished drafts at the Gothic Ginobili, and it's not doing anyone any good to have these things just lying around. So now I will put the occasional good-but-hard-to-publish piece in a place for my thousands (nay, millions) of loyal readers to indulge.
Today, it's my parody of American Pie, where the theme is none other than Richard Jefferson's tenure in San Antonio. This definitely should have been published. I am bitter to no end that this is what I'm resorting to in order to get this published. Its appeal is obvious and limitless. The New York Times should be beating down my door for this vintage American comedy I am producing. j/k lol ;-p. Let's get started. Heh.
A long, long time ago
I can still remember
How that RJ used to make me smile
And I knew if he had his chance
That he would win some Con-fer-ence
And Spurs fans would be happy for awhile...
But the trade deadline would not abate
And I read about how Golden State
Had acquired Richard Jefferson
I couldn't take one more step...fferson.
I can't remember what I said
When I learned about his moving head
Our title hopes were surely dead...
When we got...S-Jax instead
I can still remember
How that RJ used to make me smile
And I knew if he had his chance
That he would win some Con-fer-ence
And Spurs fans would be happy for awhile...
But the trade deadline would not abate
And I read about how Golden State
Had acquired Richard Jefferson
I couldn't take one more step...fferson.
I can't remember what I said
When I learned about his moving head
Our title hopes were surely dead...
When we got...S-Jax instead
So bye, bye, Richard Jefferson, bye
Most respectful expectations you did defy
But now it's S-Jax at the wing who now flies
Singing "This is now the team that I die....
This is now the team that I die...
Most respectful expectations you did defy
But now it's S-Jax at the wing who now flies
Singing "This is now the team that I die....
This is now the team that I die...
For," and for one month we've been without his line
RJ grows fat on the Oakland pine
But that's not how it used to be
When he came here from Milwaukee Bucks
He shot the lights out, then he sucked
In a role he'd borrowed without luck
And while the fans were looking down
RJ worked without a frown
His shooting was improved... problems seemed removed
An extension came for a kingly sum
The next season was surely won
The day RJ was resigned
RJ grows fat on the Oakland pine
But that's not how it used to be
When he came here from Milwaukee Bucks
He shot the lights out, then he sucked
In a role he'd borrowed without luck
And while the fans were looking down
RJ worked without a frown
His shooting was improved... problems seemed removed
An extension came for a kingly sum
The next season was surely won
The day RJ was resigned
So bye, bye, Richard Jefferson, bye
Most respectful expectations you did defy
But now it's S-Jax at the wing who now flies
Singing "This is now the team that I die....
This is now the team that I die....
Most respectful expectations you did defy
But now it's S-Jax at the wing who now flies
Singing "This is now the team that I die....
This is now the team that I die....
For." Now Memphis beat the ailing Spurs
'Twas only injuries that they'd had worse
And a wing whose talents had dispersed.
So the draft found Spurs with Kawhi
A friggin baller... made us ask why
We had RJ's minutes so high...
When S-Jax went to Golden State
In a move so shrewd and calculate-
d RJ was there removed
From a Spurs team now much improved
And while the Spurs frothed over Patty Mills
RJ sat eerily perfectly still
On a Warrior bench that tanking proved
The day RJ was removed.
'Twas only injuries that they'd had worse
And a wing whose talents had dispersed.
So the draft found Spurs with Kawhi
A friggin baller... made us ask why
We had RJ's minutes so high...
When S-Jax went to Golden State
In a move so shrewd and calculate-
d RJ was there removed
From a Spurs team now much improved
And while the Spurs frothed over Patty Mills
RJ sat eerily perfectly still
On a Warrior bench that tanking proved
The day RJ was removed.
And that's it! Wasn't that funny, kids? -Editor Emeritus Burl Ives
No comments:
Post a Comment