@DewNO @voxdotcom We should write a Dr. Seuss style story about terrible journalism called "Vox & Fox"
— Patrick Fenelon (@Patrick_Fenelon) May 29, 2014
@Patrick_Fenelon @DewNO @voxdotcom we can call it, "Oh, the shit you will say!"
— Jesse Blanchard (@blanchardJRB) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
When you're starved for content
(As sometimes you'll be)
And there's nothing of substance
For readers to see
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
And you can't just be Buzzfeed
Or Upworthy or such
Or Loop-a-cadaverous-
Content-so-Much
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
But you have to produce
And you have to proceed
Or all your big media friends
Will mock your great need.
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
So you make some big cards
And you talk of "Big Data"
And you make proclamations
And say why it is that is
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
And why those Millenials
Seem to be sadder
And why humans oft
Make decisions bad, er-
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
But you're getting off track here
A detour, not so high
The readers aren't clicking
And you never know why.
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
Are they appalled by
Your lowly ambitions?
Or are they just bloated
With too many decisions.
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
Or is it new media
And trends yet to capture?
So you make a chart quickly
And gaze through your apertures.
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
You find to dismay
The chart's not to scale
Or is it? You don't know.
You think "Epic Fail!"
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
There's no substitute
For domain expertise
And now you are finding
It's that you've not seized.
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
You find to alarm
You'd kinda stopped reading
Or interpreting text
Or branching out, weeding
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
out all the useless
crap of our era
You'd not stopped and questioned
Whether anyone cared.
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
And after this finding
With what are you left?
Of inquisitive fellows
and thoughts you're bereft.
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
All you know now is
You have to keep churning
And this Churn's all you know
And how to keep earning
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
And so you make thinkpieces,
clickbaits and charts
In lieu of sound judgment
Throw topics at darts.
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
It's twenty years later
The world is in darkness
Your craft you've perfected
To considerable starkness.
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
Your empire stretches
Now nigh to the sun
Your readership numbers
Nine billion and one.
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
But no one can string
Together two thoughts
For you're an Explainer
Not Connector-of-Dots!
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
Without bias or care
or mental investment
Your pieces drift softly
On and off you like vestments
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
@blanchardJRB @Patrick_Fenelon
You speak with authority
And no one objects
The world breathes its last
An explainer - Teen Sex
— Alex Dewey (@DewNO) May 29, 2014
And that's it! Hope you enjoyed! I figured you Pearls-divers might like a little change of pace. That's what I call you that read this site called Pearls of Mystery: Pearls-divers. It's not an organic nickname coming from a healthy community of fans; no, it's just something I call you sometimes.
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