Yet Another White Guy Talking About #CancelColbert

Stephen Colbert is one of my favorite comedians of the last 25 years. "Exit 57", "Strangers With Candy", "The Daily Show", and "Colbert Report" come together to form a massive and brilliant comic resume by Colbert. He can act, he can dance, he can sing, he can deadpan, he can satirize, he can be serious, he can be silly, he can parody, he can improvise, he can make sketches work. He can deliver monologues, he can work in tandem, and he can do it all with a smart, humane personality. Stephen Colbert is, quite simply, a comedic genius - a once-in-a-generation comic talent that only comes along once in... a great while.

But this isn't about what he can do. It's about what he can't do: Step outside his own perspective. Unless Stephen Colbert has good representation of Asian-Americans on his writing staff, he is missing out on the nuances (and possibly even the broad strokes) of the Asian-American perspective. There's no way around that. The perspective of the joke he made (that caused Suey Park's #CancelColbert hashtag to strike Twitter) was emphatically that of the white-liberal comedian and his audience. It's hard to argue that Colbert had a nuanced Asian-American perspective that he was folding into his joke's perspective. He didn't, and maybe the joke suffered for it, and maybe Suey Park has a point.

But can I now dissect this joke by its substance, and not just whether it's funny, proper, satirical, or offensive? While all that stuff matters, their importance is secondary - a joke can be nonsensical and carry no message, but this joke did pretty clearly carry a message. So let's talk about this message, if only to try and lay the cards on the table properly.

So the whole premise was that Dan Snyder's newly-formed "Washington Redskins Original Americans Foundation" is an absurd cop-out from the problem of making gigantic amounts of money off an apparent ethnic slur (Redskins). Snyder's solution uses the slur perversely in the name of the foundation created ostensibly to "help" the afflicted group. The joke's premise is that -instead of actually solving the problem and changing his football team's name - Snyder has chosen to placate critics with a cheap, obviously PR-oriented half-measure. Snyder has chosen the path of most chicanery, like some such shitheelectricity through a current. Colbert is satirically responding to this premise and using his in-character anti-Asian comments from several years ago as a framework to launch into his own half-measure.

This might sound like I'm stating the obvious, but here's the wrinkle: Colbert's joke is not at all about the Asians (or Native Americans). Superficially, both of these groups are being attacked, whether by Snyder's foundation or by Colbert's mock foundation. But the true subject of the joke is Dan Snyder. This might sound like an exaggeration, but the joke is genuinely all and only in the greedy Dan Snyder solving his Problem of the Other by pouring money into a token measure that serves to divide under the guise of unity. The joke is about a white man solving his problems with divisive token politics that might win him a referendum or two; meanwhile his Other is thrown under the bus. The goal of his "Washington Redskins Original Americans Foundation" is clear: Snyder's opposition are left to fight among themselves over a divisive measure (over 1. whether it's adequate and 2. the public perception of fighting against a "Native American Foundation"), and his supporters are allowed to rally behind the "see, he cares" measure. All at (to him) trivial cost. At an added satirical bonus, it's a measure that's only as successful as it's perceived to be genuine. If people see Snyder's actions as fundamentally insincere, it won't gain him any favor.

Whatever the case, if politics is the art of polarization, then Snyder was executing a clearly political PR job by creating the Foundation. The fog of bad faith in Snyder is almost impossible to see through. And Colbert - in his dismissive "Orientals or Whatever" rant - was mocking not only the absurdity of the slur but the callousness and cynicism by which his character deploys it, all to betray the utter political calculation of Snyder's actions. Snyder is - from a perspective of naked greed - allowing prejudices inherent in his organization's name and logo to persist. In other words, it's not the tone or the slurs that create the impetus for a joke. It's the actionable racism that lives in Snyder's actions and the absurd abomination of humanity that must ensue. That's the humor. The underlying racism is the set-up; Snyder is the punchline.

I think that's an important distinction, because - though I don't share too much politically with her - I do actually agree with Suey Park when she constantly deploys the notion of privilege. I think that - as a white guy - I genuinely can't escape my perspective to understand how certain things feel to historically discriminated groups. And I shouldn't try to (or, in a cultural sense, be allowed to) "explain away" the feelings of others. Privilege - as far as I can tell - is real and endlessly frustrating. When I do have occasion to genuinely personally empathize with a political struggle, I realize that genuine empathy is usually limited to directly-afflicted groups. If I happen to be in the 1% that is thrown under the bus by divisive politics (granted: rarely), I suddenly understand all this talk of privilege, and understand that I don't, in a larger sense. I mean, even where you might naively expect there to be empathy (ex: blacks for the gay rights movement, Jews for the rights of blacks in the Civil Rights movement, etc.), the reality tends to be far more complex, because people are complex and guided by many motives, economic incentives, and cultural ideas. And yes, sometimes by these sorts of divisive political maneuvers, while we're talking about them.

 I happen to know that politicians in America since time immemorial - but especially, like, in the South - have used tactics like Snyder's to slow and stifle social progress. Gradualism always needs to be graded on a curve, and when the gradual solution is found wanting, its motives are typically wanting as well. Creating a foundation like that is probably 10% of what Snyder could have done and probably cost him 10% of what it would cost to change the name. When rational debate takes place between 20 and 180% of changing the name, what he has done is almost less than nothing. Snyder has done less than the absolute minimum that a reasonable person could expect of him, and has put a happy face on all of this, well, evil.

And Colbert likely understands all of this more deeply than I. Colbert has grown up and grown old in a American society filled with divisive rhetoric and maneuvering. He has watched Fox News turn news into entertainment and shrill propaganda, watched anti-war protestors systemically denounced as traitors, and seen any number of dog-whistle talking points and token political efforts. Colbert is eminently qualified to have an opinion on the empty rhetoric of a billionaire manipulating the public in the services of societal prejudices.

And therefore, I submit that Colbert's joke is something Colbert ought to be able to make in a civilized society, without fear of condescending to or offending his neighbors. Colbert's perspective may not be perfect for this problem, but he has plenty of relevant experiences informing him that can't be dismissed as casual white-liberal racism, just as much as anyone else in a position to influence the national debate. If the satire was lame or rang hollow (as Colbert's satire sometimes does), then we can dutifully chalk that up to the imperfection of his experience. But if Colbert can't make a joke like that, then no one can, and the whole tradition of satire is dead. And if you can't point out the absurd, then you've guaranteed that absurdity will triumph. If I sound melodramatic about this, it's because I look at the NSA and see a society that has gradually ceded an effectively unlimited amount of power to a shady agency, and so much of the debate gets reduced to "let's talk about Snowden". I think casual nods to ideological censorship by #CancelColbert must be taken overly seriously. If it's a joke, then it's not funny. If it's a hook to click, then it's not worth it. #CancelColbert may have been - in intent - little more than an inflammatory headline to start real debate, but the ugly implication of that "cancel" is a censorship that has long been used in our country to stifle subtlety, reasoning, and irony in favor of doughy-eyed, fearful, unsophisticated deference to the dominant ideology and useless arguments about tone and decorum. I think that "cancel" shouldn't just be ignored as an overreach by a group seeking a discussion - because it's in the language of anti-discussion. It's seeking our democratic sympathies by acting in an anti-democratic way. It's challenging the ethnocentric, ironic perspective of white liberals that believe they've transcended ideology... by bringing an unironic, dangerous perspective from a small group of radicals that refuse to acknowledge the existence of fair debate. Colbert has brought forth a long chain of reasoning to tear down a billionaire's actionable racism; the reformers responded with a personal attack on Colbert as party to racism. And I don't think any of that is right, and, if it is, it certainly isn't made right by the existence of privilege.

So let's talk about privilege, lest I reduce Suey Park and her supporters to caricatures. Our subjective experiences may indeed be filled with totally different triggers and thoughts and meanings depending on our perspectives. I totally buy that. But, in our shared objective reality - an objective reality we must share if we're to make any progress in that reality - we don't have to understand the personal effects of racism to fight against racism. We don't have to understand what words trigger what reactions to know that it's wrong to use a genocidal slur. We don't have to know how it feels to be hit to protest against violence. We don't have to know how much it sucks to have divisive rhetoric deployed against our political movement to know that it's wrong. We just have to have a baseline of understanding, a smidgen of empathy, and a conscience. Direct, firsthand experience of racism would certainly help, but in its absence? Secondhand principles and an open mind are perfectly valid substitutes as far as politics is concerned.

And sure, please! point out the shallowness and utter inauthenticity of white liberal comedians making casual jokes and conflations between your experience and other experiences as generic Others. Please! Point out how you feel put-on and condescended to by Colbert's maybe-not-so-innocuous choice of target. Seriously, there is a huge place in the world for pointing that stuff out, and at least bringing it to the surface for discussion can only help. And maybe Colbert himself would do well to acknowledge the validity of Suey Park's accusations of privilege instead of ignoring the offense taken as a misunderstanding of satire. After all, there are plenty of perspectives Colbert - like all of us - can't empathize with. But if we're to have an American democracy at all where problems can be talked through and worked out as a society, at least to an extent? Then I fail to see how it's helpful or productive to use the notion of privilege to crowd out and trivialize the issues of substance about which Colbert - and Park, and all citizens whose goal is a better, more tolerant society - can occasionally speak with authority.

Quotes that aren't from "The Wire"

These are not quotes from HBO's critically acclaimed Dickensian epic "The Wire". These quotes are not accurate for the most part -- nor, if they are accurate, are they accurate reproductions of that show.

"Let's be startin', then."

"It's all in the game."
"You know it."

"The game is on!"
"Always."

"As real be, as real do."

Prop. Joe: "Meeting adjourned, Proposition Joe."
Young Dealer: "Yo, these minutes be like hours."
Joe: "We runnin' a criminal fuckin' enterprise here. These minutes be like years. You just ain't see it, young'un."

"If you in the thick of it, they lookin' to skim some off ya."

"Our true colors deep down, McNulty, and we ain't white and black."
"What are we then, Omar?"
"We red and green. And if you ain't makin' green, you're runnin' red. I'm just the motherfucker with a color wheel. Chaos, ya feel me?"

"We got enough dope to feed the world, haha."
"Burn it all, yo."
"What'chu say?"
"World ain't enough to get the cops off our corners."

"I'm going legit, Avon. The city of Baltimore will be ours and the fucking cops will be off our backs forever. I got a hundred million invested in every dime store, slush fund, and 7-11 in the goddamn city. We kings now, Avon, and nothing can stop us."
"Stringer, I always knew you ain't know shit about shit."
"What? I have all the papers. We have political favors from every single establishment in the city, and regionally. Everyone depends on our supply of dope. If we stopped dealing, the whole city would dry up. Our mayor would get impeached, the governor wouldn't get re-elected, and all our schools and 1000 businesses would go belly-up. We have them by the balls, Avon, and they don't even know it yet. We could literally become aristocrats, travelling around the world and shit, and no one could say shit. Because we'd be powerful, man. We would have the power. Our right-hands could get paid and up a high-rise theyself. We could sip champagne for the rest of our lives with this monster dough and we wouldn't have to sling another ounce our whole lives."
"Stringer, I'll wet you up."
"Why? We livin the dream, Avon. The dream! And we're as ruthless as the streets ever were! You want some blood to end? Just name a name."
"If it ain't bleed from the corner, it ain't even blood."
"What?"
"I'm out. Have fun slingin' on the corners without me."
"Okay?"

President Obama Addresses the Nation

For months President Obama had been convincing Americans of all walks of life to register and enroll in a health-care plan by March 31. For months he stumped for enrollments and advertised the website where registration was to take place. Despite some well-publicized and politically disastrous hiccups with the website's design and reliability, everything had gone more or less to plan. The enrollment numbers were more or less in line with optimistic projections.

Then, the day after the deadline, following this massive campaign, President Obama naturally sought to address the nation about his plan. This would serve both as a gentle reminder to some of the stragglers as well as a more serious marking of a political milestone by which the president marked his days - and by which smart observers marked the soon-retiring president's remaining power.

Clearing his throat audibly and addressing the nation from the U.S. Capitol, President Obama closed his eyes, put his head down, and waited for the rapt attention of the American People to descend upon his eyes and the mysteries their opening would produce.

Opening his eyes slowly to reveal a fierce, unblinking stare, the president stared at the cameras.

"Poof," said President Obama with perfect clarity, gesturing with his hands that something had either expanded rapidly or disappeared.

"Poof," said President Obama again, even more clearly, repeating the hand gesture, without breaking eye contact with the camera. The object of his repetition was patently to ensure his first syllable was no accident.

"No one in the United States has health insurance," President Obama said, repeating the hand gesture yet again. "Poof. Waved away. Not to be. Disbanded. No one in the United States," and he put his hands together, as if showing the pre-gestural constitution of established things, "has health insurance, anymore," and he repeated the gesture.

President Obama smiled evilly, "No one. In the United States of America. Has health insurance. No one. In the United States. Has health insurance. No one..." and he stopped short while staring at the camera.

The camera did a slow, clockwise 360-degree pan from the front of the Congressional chamber and back again, revealing that the entire chamber (which could seat 1000 comfortably) was totally empty, save for him and a few guards (to be expected, naturally).

As the camera finally came back around and the president returned to center stage. "...in the United States of America."

One of his handling guards suddenly acted shocked and asked (and it now became apparent that the guards were mic'd up), "But, Mr. President, where will I go if I need health care?" with the timing of a comic straight man.

President Obama answered calmly. "Oh, you'll pay for it. Or the government will. We're cutting out the middle-man. I'm basically one foot out the door, and so I'm going to swing for the fences on this one. I mean, really, why not? It's a stupid - or, at least, not overtly smart - idea but the alternative is stupid too. And we all know it. So screw the political system, screw the doctors and insurers and pharmaceutical companies propping up our administrations - I just want it all gone. They're all real people, but they'll have jobs after we reorganize. No more compromises, no more complexity, no more machinations. This is a good thing that everyone will enjoy, or it will be just as bad as what we have now. You'll learn to like it, just like Europe, which, by the way, I am a socialist, and have been all along. Suck on that, Rethugs. Haha, just kidding. You're part of the country too. This is just a thing I'm doing on the side."

"But you're going back on everything you-"

"What? The political positions I clearly took to try to solidify my power, with mixed results?"

"No, I mean, you NEVER advoc-"

"But why not? Who honestly is gonna stop me. I'm throwing my whole wad of political capital at this one single piece of shit problem, and giving up on everything else. Enjoy the election, Jon Huntsman? Yeah, I'm not endorsing him, it's just that I can see into the future, just like all presidents, including future-President-elect Huntsman. I was surprised too."

"So do you know this will pass?"

"Actually, that crystal ball only tells you who's gonna be the next 5 presidents. It's kind of useless, honestly. Like, otherwise it would be really easy to govern, you know? Or at least it would be easy to relax, haha!"

"But, Mr. President, what about the website and the enrollments? You spent months, years-"

"April Fool's. Come on, that website was fucking hilarious. Give me a little credit, Tom."

"Well, who's gonna be the president 20 years down the line, then?"

"Ooh, that's classified. Sorry, America. You'll have to actually vote, because no one's gonna tell you. Huntsman's sure as shit not gonna risk a second term telling you, and the guy after that isn't, either. So it won't seem predetermined, even though, if you really think about what I've said, it must be, you know? One of them paradoxes for you. Don't think too hard about it, America!"

"Alright. Look, one more question."

"Go for it, Tom! You know I'm the president that listens to your problems, America."

"Mr. President, I just have to know: What kind of political capital could you possibly have left that would allow you to pass massive reform of this type and scope?"

"Uh... you ever been naked near any phone, ever, Tom? You ever tell someone a secret you wouldn't want to be public? You ever eat food like a pig while your phone was right there? You ever make a Google search you wouldn't want the entire world to know about?"

"I mean, yeah, Mr.-."

President Obama stopped Tom with a wave and pointed to himself. "Yo."

"What does that mea-"

"That, but everyone in the country. Check and mate. I don't want to but I will if I have to. Look at me. I'm crazy. You know I will."

"Fuck."

President Obama smirked once more and said, "Don't use profanity. You're on national TV."

Addressing the camera, with a suddenly standard gravitas, President Obama said, "Please, for those of you that haven't signed up, it's very important that you go to healthcare dot gov and choose a plan. We've been retooling the site, and I'm sure you'll find it much more usable than ever before. Thank you, and God bless America." He appeared to lose all control of his laughter at the podium, smacking it a few times and wiping a few tears away, before regaining his composure and returning to his established pose of gravitas.

The camera zoomed slowly out from him. President Obama winked and shook his head and made the disappearing motion with his hands as he mouthed the word, "Poof." as he and Tom instantaneously disappeared from the now-empty Chamber of Commerce for the feed's final frame of footage.