What is there left to say about "The Decision"? What to say hasn't already been said? How can I lure readers into this contrarian death trap of tedious arguments and insidious intent, focusing especially on Richard Jefferson, that I call a weblog? Hmm....
Well, personally I think LeBron made a bad decision in leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers, but "The Decision" was a fantastic, brilliant marketing move that made him the talk of the town for probably the rest of his career. He certainly ended all those "LeBron/Kobe" arguments that people were actually having in 2010. It was a gigantic way of saying to him, "Kobe, listen: you're a great player, but no general manager on Earth would want you over LeBron right now for next year. Where LeBron chooses to go will determine the state of the league for the next decade. You will not understand this, Kobe. It's alright."
Now, in spite of this successful media gamble, and in spite of LeBron inarguably embracing the team concept over selfishness, he was hated on, by, naturally, people born and bred to hate things. He was hated on by such inverse-latchers-on for his pink plaid shirt and his unfortunate decision to be announced first (and therefore most important) in the subsequent Heat parade (another media coup, but Wade's relegation to the end of the Big Three in the parade showed unbearable narcissism by James). This media blunder would haunt James, much like Vlade Divac in "Once Brothers," but there was basketball to play and they were players that played basketball in Miami, now, because of "The Decision", which happened exactly one year ago.
The Heat got off to a blistering start in which they remarkably won more games than they lost despite constantly being flattered and adored by the sports media empire ESPN and simultaneously told that they were being hated on. This contradiction reached its zenith when the blog devoted to the beloved team was filled with talking about how they were hated, and if certain people derived pleasure from hating on them, or if these people actually wanted them to succeed, but begrudgingly, but actually hated the blog that was devoted to them, instead, or, finally, if these people were actually genetically born and bred (like the haters) not to be boxed in by media empires, to instinctively rebel against any media narrative floated their way, no matter how convoluted it made their day-to-day lives, not to mention the headlines! Now, by winning more basketball games than they lost they showed that they could hang in this league of basketball, and the league, impressed, gave way to them, and the team from Miami scrapped its way to unexpected winning streak after unexpected winning streaks. Then, in a fluke only explainable by basic laws of chance or the often-serious matchup problems associated with having three workable players in a game of five against five, the Heat dropped five close games in a row, and were (get this) psychoanalyzed by the media as unable to close games! Get it? They couldn't win CLOSE GAMES, so now they couldn't CLOSE GAMES. In a cruel gesture of deliberate incomprehension, ESPN had turned on them! But luckily, their earlier successes had created further adoration in the masses of fans, and even some begrudging haters saying maybe this decade won't be so bad, until their born and bred habits of hate boiled to the surface once more at another target.
Of course, even despite winning the fans over once and for all, they had to contend with several other teams in the competitive sport of basketball, invented by Dr. James Naismith as a form of soccer for the club-footed and the scurvy-ridden. After comfortably winning out all of the rest of the games in their season, it was playoff time. Then, the Heat stormed through a bunch of injured teams straight to the Finals, proving finally that all that had stood in their way in the past was the perfect health of their opponents. In an interesting subplot, Derrick Rose of the Bulls, who had been named MVP largely because the cautious media voters had recognized LeBron's team sacrifice in moving to Miami and didn't want to pump him up with an individual award of merit that he had clearly transcended. Rose was known for his selfishness, and LeBron was therefore committed to showing Derrick Rose what a real team could do when faced with incredible individual talent. The Heat dominated the selfish Bulls, proving that the real MVP was Team Spirit all along.
Then came the Finals. The hated Mavericks, long known for their selfish billionaire owner Mark Cuban, famously sought to take not only the title, but also the memory of having played for the title. Nefarious, but ultimately short-sighted, as Cuban's psychological work had instead given researchers powerful statistical tools for determining the growth of certain degenerative neurological disorders, saving thousands. Cuban never seemed to grasp the irony of saving memories through a plot to destroy them...
But that is an aside. The hated Mavericks, despite their institutional shortcomings, boasted an unfair frontcourt and a sneaky backcourt. Unlike the gallant Heat, who traveled in groups of three, the classless Mavericks would gang up on teams with five, sometimes six players (I see you, Dwane Casey), and ask their favorite rappers to fight their battles for them. Unfortunately, all the trickery seemed to work, and a particularly clever smoke-and-mirrors routine at the end of Game 2 convinced the Heat they were young children who had had a lot of cough syrup and plenty to eat and just needed some sleep to fight off but to their surprise THE GAME WAS STILL ON and they realized the truth just in time to realize it was too late. And the Mavericks won the series in six games, destroying America's confidence in teamwork and promoting radical individualist ideologies.
The End.
Oh, and Chris Bosh was the other one.
Well, personally I think LeBron made a bad decision in leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers, but "The Decision" was a fantastic, brilliant marketing move that made him the talk of the town for probably the rest of his career. He certainly ended all those "LeBron/Kobe" arguments that people were actually having in 2010. It was a gigantic way of saying to him, "Kobe, listen: you're a great player, but no general manager on Earth would want you over LeBron right now for next year. Where LeBron chooses to go will determine the state of the league for the next decade. You will not understand this, Kobe. It's alright."
Now, in spite of this successful media gamble, and in spite of LeBron inarguably embracing the team concept over selfishness, he was hated on, by, naturally, people born and bred to hate things. He was hated on by such inverse-latchers-on for his pink plaid shirt and his unfortunate decision to be announced first (and therefore most important) in the subsequent Heat parade (another media coup, but Wade's relegation to the end of the Big Three in the parade showed unbearable narcissism by James). This media blunder would haunt James, much like Vlade Divac in "Once Brothers," but there was basketball to play and they were players that played basketball in Miami, now, because of "The Decision", which happened exactly one year ago.
The Heat got off to a blistering start in which they remarkably won more games than they lost despite constantly being flattered and adored by the sports media empire ESPN and simultaneously told that they were being hated on. This contradiction reached its zenith when the blog devoted to the beloved team was filled with talking about how they were hated, and if certain people derived pleasure from hating on them, or if these people actually wanted them to succeed, but begrudgingly, but actually hated the blog that was devoted to them, instead, or, finally, if these people were actually genetically born and bred (like the haters) not to be boxed in by media empires, to instinctively rebel against any media narrative floated their way, no matter how convoluted it made their day-to-day lives, not to mention the headlines! Now, by winning more basketball games than they lost they showed that they could hang in this league of basketball, and the league, impressed, gave way to them, and the team from Miami scrapped its way to unexpected winning streak after unexpected winning streaks. Then, in a fluke only explainable by basic laws of chance or the often-serious matchup problems associated with having three workable players in a game of five against five, the Heat dropped five close games in a row, and were (get this) psychoanalyzed by the media as unable to close games! Get it? They couldn't win CLOSE GAMES, so now they couldn't CLOSE GAMES. In a cruel gesture of deliberate incomprehension, ESPN had turned on them! But luckily, their earlier successes had created further adoration in the masses of fans, and even some begrudging haters saying maybe this decade won't be so bad, until their born and bred habits of hate boiled to the surface once more at another target.
Of course, even despite winning the fans over once and for all, they had to contend with several other teams in the competitive sport of basketball, invented by Dr. James Naismith as a form of soccer for the club-footed and the scurvy-ridden. After comfortably winning out all of the rest of the games in their season, it was playoff time. Then, the Heat stormed through a bunch of injured teams straight to the Finals, proving finally that all that had stood in their way in the past was the perfect health of their opponents. In an interesting subplot, Derrick Rose of the Bulls, who had been named MVP largely because the cautious media voters had recognized LeBron's team sacrifice in moving to Miami and didn't want to pump him up with an individual award of merit that he had clearly transcended. Rose was known for his selfishness, and LeBron was therefore committed to showing Derrick Rose what a real team could do when faced with incredible individual talent. The Heat dominated the selfish Bulls, proving that the real MVP was Team Spirit all along.
Then came the Finals. The hated Mavericks, long known for their selfish billionaire owner Mark Cuban, famously sought to take not only the title, but also the memory of having played for the title. Nefarious, but ultimately short-sighted, as Cuban's psychological work had instead given researchers powerful statistical tools for determining the growth of certain degenerative neurological disorders, saving thousands. Cuban never seemed to grasp the irony of saving memories through a plot to destroy them...
But that is an aside. The hated Mavericks, despite their institutional shortcomings, boasted an unfair frontcourt and a sneaky backcourt. Unlike the gallant Heat, who traveled in groups of three, the classless Mavericks would gang up on teams with five, sometimes six players (I see you, Dwane Casey), and ask their favorite rappers to fight their battles for them. Unfortunately, all the trickery seemed to work, and a particularly clever smoke-and-mirrors routine at the end of Game 2 convinced the Heat they were young children who had had a lot of cough syrup and plenty to eat and just needed some sleep to fight off but to their surprise THE GAME WAS STILL ON and they realized the truth just in time to realize it was too late. And the Mavericks won the series in six games, destroying America's confidence in teamwork and promoting radical individualist ideologies.
The End.
Oh, and Chris Bosh was the other one.
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