"We are strong. But we are strong because we are fast. But we are fast because we are strong. Or not. The bottom line is, I am definitely the president. I don't think we have any argument there," as President James addresses the joint session to applause.
"And Shaq is certainly the Majority. The Big Fella, half the body weight of the entire team." More applause.
"And Mike Brown is certainly the Supreme Court. His husk could move continents of garment companies, deciding who lives and who dies - a sort of Solomon ruling with terrifying wisdom." More applause.
"And Mo Williams is a child. He is a child." Mo looks offended, and all eyes turn to him, no one saying anything. "No, I don't mean like immature. I mean he looks like a child. It's not a bad thing, Mo. You are a fine point guard. You are...just fine, Mo, the way you are. But you are a child." Less applause, still some enthusiasm. Mo is heard to mouth, "Not true" but the incident passes.
"Big Z is surely our working class. He gets angry and populist, and falls down sometimes and we laugh at him, but we all know, without the working class we are nothing, or would want to be after losing him. Let's hear it for Big Z." Reluctant applause as Z stands up clumsily.
"But the Media has also played a role. Fred McLeod and Austin Carr, get that weak stuff out of here deep in the Q!" Everyone stands and stands on top of their chairs. A bunch of chairs in the center of the Q break. "You have to pay for that if you broke it."
10 minutes of silence pass. LeBron is just standing there, with some of the folks in the crowd standing for lack of chair.
"Speech over? I'm probably not going to the Knicks, for reals?"
"And Shaq is certainly the Majority. The Big Fella, half the body weight of the entire team." More applause.
"And Mike Brown is certainly the Supreme Court. His husk could move continents of garment companies, deciding who lives and who dies - a sort of Solomon ruling with terrifying wisdom." More applause.
"And Mo Williams is a child. He is a child." Mo looks offended, and all eyes turn to him, no one saying anything. "No, I don't mean like immature. I mean he looks like a child. It's not a bad thing, Mo. You are a fine point guard. You are...just fine, Mo, the way you are. But you are a child." Less applause, still some enthusiasm. Mo is heard to mouth, "Not true" but the incident passes.
"Big Z is surely our working class. He gets angry and populist, and falls down sometimes and we laugh at him, but we all know, without the working class we are nothing, or would want to be after losing him. Let's hear it for Big Z." Reluctant applause as Z stands up clumsily.
"But the Media has also played a role. Fred McLeod and Austin Carr, get that weak stuff out of here deep in the Q!" Everyone stands and stands on top of their chairs. A bunch of chairs in the center of the Q break. "You have to pay for that if you broke it."
10 minutes of silence pass. LeBron is just standing there, with some of the folks in the crowd standing for lack of chair.
"Speech over? I'm probably not going to the Knicks, for reals?"
This is kind of a fun piece. But it's not anything like LeBron's voice, and it's not funny enough to justify its own existence, really. Historical record, though. I'm not deleting it.
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